Friday, January 16, 2015

Stop The New Year, I Wanna Get Off

Gad this year is sucking and it's only two weeks old.

I already mentioned the busted camera fiasco and the dinged Steviemobile debacle. Those happened last year, but turned out to be harbingers of the levels of complete and utter suck that would prevail in 2015.

Example: On the 7th I left my car at the body shop to be fixed. Freezing weather immediately moved in so that any delay in being met by whoever was picking me up became an exercise in not dying, there being no windbreaks or shelter in the area after dark. When I picked up the car on Saturday, it turned out they had removed my car antenna, probably to put it through a car wash. When I found it on the back seat and went to screw it back into its mount, I found that the rubber mount seal had become brittle over the 12 years I've owned the car, and it had cracked in several places. So I have that to replace.

Example: That night we got a call from the Mrs Steviemom saying she had crashed her car into her house. We drove over with visions of the car sitting in the living room. It turned out the car was not in the house, but in the driveway. The house had only a small dent in it. The car however was looking much sadder. It had hooked up on the jamb of the garage door, and at that point probably only about a couple of hundred dollars of cosmetic dings and broken plastic clips had been done. But then, in a move last seen in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World it had been backed away from the garage, ripping off the entire front of the car. About two grand's worth of damage.

Example: Yesterday, at around 10 pm, the circuit into which the fridge and the microwave are plugged failed. An hour screwing around with a voltmeter in the breaker box showed no problems there. Somewhere a wire has broken, or burned through, or been gnawed through by varmints. I have no idea which of the fossil breakers in the box control those two outlets (and apparently only those two outlets). I put in a new circuit a few years back to accommodate the dishwasher and toaster oven so that the breaker would stop tripping when the fridge compressor kicked in, but I never labelled the breakers. I know where the new ones are but Azathoth alone knows which of the damn things operates those dead sockets. Fun lies in the near future for me in a rewiring job from Hell.

Example: Six o'clock this morning I woke up sneezing. My nose hasn't stopped itching like crazy inside all day and I've produced about 20 gallons of snot from it. Just in time for the three day weekend.

Example: Seven o' clock this morning Mrs Stevie announces that the burner in the furnace has shut down and the house is noticeably cold so I agree with her. A quick check with Mr Thermostat: 65°f. I do all the quick and easy things and then say we need the furnace repair guy to come and put in a new thermocouple. Mr Stevie arranges this1 and the furnace repair guy arrives just as I leave for work.

So, as far as 2015 is concerned: I want my money back.

  1. She called him and he said "Oh yeah, I remember you. You're the people who have a problem every year. So much for Slant Fin furnaces

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