Shall I Compare Thee LIRR To A Rotting Cabbage?

So once again my train is ten minutes late because some bleeptard at LIRR Dispatching Central has made the rule that Eastbound trains have priority at all times (even when they are the Off-Peak traffic), and must be sent through the single track chicane between Pinelawn and Deer Park even if that means holding the peak train to let it through first because the bleeping Off-Peak train is ten minutes late again.

This post explains why that is a decision only someone with the brains granted a cowpat could think was a good idea, and how it maximises damage and minimises Mass Transit Goal Achieval.

The LIRR dispatchers could not find its collective arse with both hands, a map and a big sign reading "This Way To Your Own Arse".

"Idiots" doesn't even scratch the surface. It is hard when confronted with such monumental levels of upfuck to remember that this country once put six men on the Moon, and did it using a machine built in a factory the Ronkonkoma-New York train dawdles past every day in accordance with the Victorian wisdom on the lethality of train speed¹.

1. The story is that when trains were becoming a reality, some vocal opponents felt that at 30 mph² all the air would be sucked out of the carriages and the passengers would suffocate (as opposed to dying of apoplexy at having to suffer yet another manufactured system-wide delay)↑
2. A speed that the LIRR can sometimes only dream of achieving↑