Using the same philosophy the gave us unplanet Pluto and threatens to give us Bulge Huron, a Canadian Scientist has decided that it simply will not do that anyone use the Astronomical Unit any more.
It seems that the old definition (the distance between the Earth and the Sun) isn't any good because the Earth is currently in a spiral away from the Sun rather than a stable orbit, and will eventually end up in somewhere out by Mars (which will have relocated to the asteroid belt except that the asteroids will have moved out too). Apparently, in only a hundred years Mercury will be almost one and a half kilometers behind where it should be because of this. All the planets in the Solar System are going to be lollygagging behind their expected orbital position in a century. As I mentioned, they will have shuffled out away from the Sun too. All except Pluto of course because Pluto isn't a planet any more and cannot be expected to abide by the rules laid out for them.
The irony of the situation is lost on this demented stargazer of course. The relevance of this Planetary Laggardness is entirely moot because he won't be there to measure it when it happens. This disgraceful state of affairs is down to his colleagues in the medical side of the science business also goofing off instead of doing real science. Had they gotten their fingers out and invented immortality pills instead of inventing new names for The Sniffles he might have had a point about this Mercury business and been around to say "I told you so" when someone in 2108 tried friutlessly to find Mercury using hard sums. As it is, he will be pushing up daisies with the rest of us.
I wonder if Mr "Can't Find Any New Stuff With His Telescope" envisioned what he would be publishing when he went to Astronomy School.