Wednesday, June 29, 2016

This Sort Of Thing Happens A Lot To Me

Me: I don't want to set the world on fire ...

Policeman : Then why are you carrying two five gallon cans of regular unleaded gasoline, a box of Bengal matches, two roadside flares, a box of firelighters, a can of "Barbercrude" all-weather barbecue starter, a seven pack of Bic cigarette lighters and a Zippo?

Me: I'm going to mow my lawn, then indulge myself in a spot of outdoor cookery.

Policeman : Looks like rain ...

Me: I'm English. We don't fear rain. A true Englishman doesn't tan, he rusts.

Policeman : And the flares?

Me: I'm not a slave to fashion.

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